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Unnatural and unnecessary desires

Posted in: Applying Wisdom, Epicureanism

Some desires are (1) natural and necessary, others (2) natural but not necessary, still others (3) neither natural nor necessary but generated by senseless whims. – Epicurus, Vatican Aphorisms via The Art of Happiness To be a classical Epicurean is to become an expert on your wants and desires and only pursuing those that truly bring

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Where do we want to put down roots?

Posted in: Applying Wisdom, Craft identity and meaning, Oregon

By Erica

I remember what it felt like to be 17. I was itching to leave my bubble and head to the “East Coast.” I wanted to cut my teeth on a big city. I wanted a passport covered in ink. I wanted to be where things of consequence happened.

And so, I headed to Washington, DC. I got a degree in international affairs, interned on the Hill, studied abroad, and met my future husband. After graduation, I traveled more, got a master’s degree, and sharpened my professional skills to please even the most discerning of bosses. Today, I enjoy working for myself, seeing friends, and making a home for my husband and baby daughter in our small but cozy rental house.

Life in this part of the world has and continues to be good to us. Which is why it feels so strange to be taking this next year to explore what it would look like to take it all down.

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A letter to someone on the internet who is getting old and feels lost

Posted in: Applying Wisdom, Buddhism, Catholicism, Hinduism, Judaism

I am turning 35 years old soon and I feel like I haven’t achieved much, both personally and professionally. I have held jobs in small and big companies for mostly for 1-2 years each, traveled and lived in different countries, had 2 failed startups, and have about $500k in savings. I am single and haven’t

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Parenting as noble work

Posted in: Applying Wisdom, Judaism

By Erica

Note: I wrote this post in January and as I prepare to publish it today, I am thinking about the people who are defending Ukraine. This post mentions soldiers, and I hope it does so respectfully. I also hope that it calls to mind all of the moms, dads, and caretakers who are going above and beyond to keep children safe during an armed conflict. 

“You should prioritize self-care!” my sister urged with the best of intentions.

I had called her to calm myself down after a particularly frustrating morning. I was coming off twelve days of winter break at home with an 18-month-old, a complicated COVID testing procedure, and an incident with my Apple ID. I was feeling frustrated and overwhelmed.

And yet, as much as her advice to take a bubble bath was appreciated, it wasn’t what I was hoping to hear.

What I wish she would have said is this: “What you are doing is hard – taking care of a child requires stamina and a fair amount of struggle. But it is also some of the most important work there is. Keep going, girl in the arena.”

Indeed, one of the most surprising things about becoming a parent is realizing just how hard the job is and how little reverence there is in American culture for the role.

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When you are envious of your friend’s success

Posted in: Applying Wisdom, Buddhism, Catholicism, Hinduism, Stoicism

By Dale

TLDR Bullets

  • I felt envious of a friend’s success and upcoming book about a topic I cared about
  • Envy can be triggered when it exposes your own perceived flaw and past failures
  • Reducing the feeling of envy is tough, some techniques don’t work, such as 
    • Telling myself not to feel that way
    • Making excuses for myself
    • Making unrealistic vows to become more awesome immediately
  • Some ancient wisdom ideas are more useful
    • Acknowledge that everyone flaws, failures, shortcomings, and prone to suffering
    • Focus only on inputs not outputs. Focus on doing the work, not the outcome of the work
    • Dedicate your work to the gods
  • Acknowledge there is no cure for envy, only lifelong opportunities to get better at addressing it

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The envy trigger

On my drive to work yesterday I turned on Cal Newport’s podcast, Deep Questions with Cal Newport. Cal helped me come up with the concept for the AWP and has been a great friend and supporter.

I’ve always looked up to him and specifically the way he tackles his goals: systematically and contemplatively.

But, when he mentioned on an episode that he is writing a book about the Deep Life, I immediately felt deflated.

I felt deflated because he is tackling a topic that I love and will almost certainly do it much better than me and, in classic Cal fashion, will be successful in a way that I am envious of and oh, be super humble about it. Annoying!

The root of envy

Being envious of your friends is a strange and uncomfortable feeling. 

It’s strange because I don’t feel envious of miscellaneous celebrities or successful people. It’s very cool that Elon Musk is a mega billionaire entrepreneur but I don’t feel any particular way about him.

What I suspect is that we feel envy when our own perceived flaws and past failures are exposed.

There have been two major failures that still feel painful to me.

The first is dropping out of SEAL training.

This is still painful not because I wish I were a Navy SEAL now, but because I didn’t quit the right way. I suspect I quit out of weakness, rather than quitting because I went through a careful decision making process.

I still have weird dreams about this on occasion.

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Are we kind enough to save an empire?

Posted in: Applying Wisdom, Stoicism

By Erica

A note from Dale: My wife and I decided last year that we’d like to build something together. We decided that the best way to do that was to have her join AWP as my partner!

You will begin to see a more regular stream of articles from Erica moving forward. We’ll make sure to add the by-line at the top so you know who the author is.

I know you’ll appreciate her thoughtful insights and reflections as well as the higher quality writing.

Enjoy!

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On December 31, my mom called to tell me about a strange incident. She was standing in line at the bank when a well-dressed woman tapped her on the shoulder and threatened her with violence for taking the parking spot she wanted. My mom (a Buddhist) took the exchange in stride, but I couldn’t help but feel my own anger toward this stranger. 

The next day, a front page article in The New York Times confirmed my suspicion that people are indeed becoming meaner to each other. Much like what happened to my mom, slight disappointments are sending people into fits of rage and causing them to lash out at the people around them.

This trend, hedge fund manager Ray Dalio argues, is a serious one. In his book, Principles for Dealing with the Changing World Order, Dalio identifies fraying social fabric as one of the standard indicators of a great power’s decline. 

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Appreciate those who annoy you

Posted in: Applying Wisdom, Craft identity and meaning, Hinduism

To paraphrase the Gospel, “Love your competitors, and pray for those who undercut your prices.” You would be nowhere at all without them. Allan Watts, The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are I tend to be judgmental of those at work who take their work too seriously. I feel this way about

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AWP Podcast Episode 3: Chuck Marohn on Building Strong Towns and Rich Lives

Posted in: Applying Wisdom

RSS URL Direct Download Link Who is Chuck Marohn and why an I interviewing him? Chuck Marohn is the founder of the non-profit, Strong Towns, an organization designed to making communities across America and Canada financially strong and resilient. He is also the author of several books, the most recent of which is Strong Towns:

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